Was caught once again in thoughts that were darker then the kajal in my eyes yet brighter than my spirit. I didn’t know if I was happy or sad, if I should laugh or cry?
This state of mind was not a result of specific something or someone. It just happened.
When my eyelids were heavy with sleep, mind was yearning to wander off somewhere, making it hell of a task for the brain to accomplish doing both.
So I stared blankly at the empty ceiling, and noticed a quiet line dividing through it, but it wasn’t much after that humming mosquito began to fight for attention by its amusing rhythmic noise. So the train of thought was lost never to be caught again. And the melodious mosquito got what it wanted - an applause =)
So the focus shifted to books lying on the bed, and I wondered if I should pick them up or if I could get away with the being-too-busy-doing-nothing justification. I settled down for the reason that light was not enough to read, and the fact that I don’t want to squander away my newly bought glasses.
When the room is sparsely decorated, there aren’t a lot of objects that can arrest your thoughts, and so letting the mind stroll and oscillating between past, present & future.
It was fascinating how I kept thinking of all the mistakes made in the past and how am I going to revise them in the future, completely glossing over all the new ones I am making in the present.
Going back as far as I could, and thinking about each and every mistake I made, rivers began to damn up in my eyes and when the doors could hold no more, well, lets just say the water supply restored in my area for a week at least. Once that dried up, the ever-hopeful brain quickly decided that no matter how thick I was in the past, the future will be error free – and with that came a lasting smile and some rosy thoughts had begun to get together in my mind..
In this struggle of the tears and smiles we fall short to assess the incident that comes along each of these mistakes, the experience which is much more precious than those pearls lost of those pearls yet to be gained.
3 comments:
now that's some straight from the heart stuff... put into fine words! Good luck! :)
Been through that a lot many times, when you just don't know the reason but you just feel so lost and tired, and all your life goes across your mind like some never ending play..and thn somehow you just sleep off with those thoughts by early morning!
For me, smoking always been good company!
Nice read... but there are no mistakes in life... for the word itself is subjective enough to give you different dimensions with time... don't hold on to your thoughts and let them pass and you will be able to flow and enjoy. ;-)
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